Training Up Your Boys to Men

Vern S. Poythress wrote an excellent article in 1999 titled "How I Have Helped My Boys Boys Become Christian Men" which I recommend you print off and study.

He and his wife decided on a course of training (which lasted several years) leading up to a special ceremony, which they called Bar Jeshua.  The training covers critical areas for spiritual maturity:

1. Knowledge of the contents of the Bible.
2. Memorization of selected verses and passages of the Bible.
3. Knowledge of the major teachings of the Bible (doctrine).
4. Personal piety.
5. Projects of service and mercy.
6. Wisdom in dealing with various spheres of life.

The most interesting part for me was how they consciously treated their son differently once they declared him a man, though he continued to live with him:


What happens after our boy becomes a man? He has the privileges of a man. The privileges must be real and meaningful. This part is scary for Diane and me. But we told ourselves, "It is better to give our young man lots of freedom now, while he is still at home. At 14 he is still young enough to come and ask us for advice. He is young enough to know that he doesn't know everything. For him to explore under these conditions, when he is still in our home, is far better than waiting until he goes away to college and we don't see him or talk with him about all the challenges."
When our boy becomes a man, lots of changes take place in many areas, some big, some small. As a man, he no longer needs a baby-sitter. He can baby-sit younger children himself. He sets his own bedtime and rising time. He decides when he does his homework and how long he works on it. He decides what TV programs he watches and how long he watches. He can (at first with supervision) teach a children's Sunday school class. He participates in the "family council" when my wife and I discuss, plan, and make important decisions. He can buy and care for his own pet. He excuses himself from the table rather than being asked to be excused. He buys his own clothing, school supplies, and gifts. He pays rent once a month, based on an estimate of his share in the utilities, food, and other costs. And he has an allowance to match these new responsibilities! In addition, if I pay him to do an extra job, I pay him at a going rate-at least the minimum wage, and more than that for jobs that are demanding.
But even when our son is a man, he is still part of the family and still lives with us. We love him just as much. We kiss and hug him just as much. We play together. We have certain rules that we would have for anyone living with us, even people outside the family. We expect him to be at meals on time. We expect him to be considerate of other members of the family. If he goes somewhere, we expect to know where he is. On Saturday night we meet as a family and assess the week. We continue to talk with him about where he is spiritually. If we see sin in his life, we will exhort him as we would exhort an adult who was on intimate terms with us. We continue to encourage one another and teach one another as fellow believers in Christ (Col. 3:16; 1 Thess. 5:14).
Christianity, after all, does not isolate adults from one another, but puts them in the body of Christ (1 Cor. 12). In that body we are answerable to one another. So Ransom's freedom is not freedom for immorality. If I were to see my brother in Christ filling his mind with raw TV programs, or neglecting his homework, or even just staying up too late every night and then dragging in the morning, we would sit down and talk. We would ask, "Is this really wise for a Christian man?"



Read the whole article to get the details.  This is worth discussing with your wife, men!  And I would love to hear is there are corresponding examples for training up daughters to be Christian women.

You might also want to check out my article "What Fathers Should Teach Their Sons."

Chocolate Cake for Breakfast

One of my all-time favorite Bill Cosby shticks  -- brilliant!

Money Matters

I continue to find young families with significant money problems -- these put tremendous strain on the marriage and family life, and limit ministry opportunities.

Men, money matters.  I urge you to proactive effort to get free of debt, to put away an emergency fund, to save for future investments.  Live so you can be generous with others!  If you aren't where you should be financially, then get help.  Smart people get help!  Pick up a Dave Ramsey book or go through a Crown Ministries course.  Engage your wife in this process, so you strengthen your marriage in the process.

Impact of the Welfare State on Men

I've committed to limiting my political statements on this blog.  Pursue other blogs if you want red (or blue) meat.  But decisions by government officials over time do affect families and men, and of these I will speak!

I highly recommend this Dennis Prager column, "Ten Ways Progressive Policies Hurt Society's Moral Character." Men, we must swim upstream and care for our families, work hard to support them and others in our communities, and be responsible adults.  We must teach our boys to become men who do these things, and our daughters to become worthy women.

Print this off, read it, discuss it with you wife.

Social Media Fast -- You?

Observation: an increasing number of men are spending a lot of time staring at phones and computer screens, keeping up on various social media.

I encourage you to ask this question: do I need to fast from this for a time, in order to put more focus on God's work in the world, my neighbors, my family?

Take the Initiative

I've spoken recently with a number of husbands and dads recently who have aching hearts about relationships and situations in their immediate and extended families.

The common theme was that the man was "stuck" in inaction, frustration, and anger.

If you're in a situation like this, here is my counsel: take the initiative.  Lead.  Start.  Forgive.  Speak. Write the note, make the call.  Find ways to serve.  Set aside your foolish pride and thoughts of "how it should be." Pray together.  Hold hands. Hug.

It matters little who is "at fault" or who is "right."  It matters little how long something has been going on.  Satan likes you think about those things, and don't let God's crummy enemy to be thrilled.

You don't have an aching heart at the moment?  Take initiative for some proactive love and service to your wife and children and relatives!  Consider others before yourself. You bring honor to the Lord Christ, and minimize the risks of  aching hearts in the future.

Where Are The Men?

Uncertainty...and Confidence

When you're a toddler there are lots of uncertainties.
When you're in second grade there are lots of uncertainties.
When you're an awkward preteen there are lots of uncertainties.
When you're seventeen and struggling to be independent there are lots of uncertainties.
When you're seriously thinking of asking this amazing women to marry you there are lots of uncertainties.
When you're a new dad there are lots of uncertainties.
When you're kids are teenagers there are lots of uncertainties.
When you're 49 and the world just seems different now there are lots of uncertainties.
When you're old enough to count the significant 1/2 years again there are lots of uncertainties.

Maturity is a long process of putting our hope in what is confident, and doing what is right.

There are many reasons to be confident:

The grass withers and the flowers fall, 
   but the word of our God endures forever. (Is 40:8)


The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. (Deut 31:8)


Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me." (Matt 28:18)


  “What no eye has seen,
   what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”—
   the things God has prepared for those who love him (1 Cor 2:9)

Simple Reminder Today: Only Two Kinds of Marriages

I've got a simple reminder for you today: There are only two kinds of marriages -- those being worked on, and those that aren't.  

What can you do today to work on your marriage?  Hint: it probably requires some inconvenience or sacrifice on your part. 

Leadership Craft

I'm pushing ahead on a new project to release free materials on leadership development from a Christian perspective -- I call the model "Leadership Craft."  A couple of requests:

1. Please pray for me!

2. If you would be interested in an early look, email me at "leadershipcraft" AT gmail DOT com

Thanks!

Have You Danced With Your Daughter Lately?

Encouragement

Reminder: Being the husband and father that you're called to be is worth it, even though it's hard work. This is God's plan to grow and stretch and deepen you, get you beyond the selfishness that over time only makes you smaller and weaker as a man.  Take a deep breath, and get back into the battle, men.

Raising a Godly Daughter

Perry Noble shares some excellent practices worth emulating, dads!

If you have other ideas and suggestions for dads of daughters, please share in the comments!

P.S. Here is my suggestion on what fathers should teach their sons.

Happy July 4th!

Family Worship

Even the guys I know who do pretty well with family devotions and Scripture/sermon discussions at meal times shudder when they're challenged to lead Family Worship times.

Family Worship times, oh my! Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

I highly recommend this article by Jerry Owen, Second Thoughts on Family Worship.

He helpfully points out that

• family worship is not expressly commanded/required in the Bible (though Deut 6:6-9 is!) 
• if done, family worship is not the most important spiritual thing you do 
• family worship should be delightful for everyone

Owen writes with some humor and skill.  My favorite sentence: "There is a reason kids loved to be around Jesus, and it wasn’t because he was lecturing at length about the Torah or the Five Points of Calvinism."


Read the article, it's worth discussing with your wife. Second Thoughts on Family Worship.

Maybe...You're Just Making Excuses

This is powerful.

D.A. Carson on the Biblical Qualifications of Elders and Deacons

Very helpful insights here on the biblical qualifications for elders and deacons. "Elders are...to be exemplars of the principles mandated for all Christians."  My suggested take-away for you men: man up!  Live to these standards.

Humor Break: Things You Don't Say To Your Wife

Jesus Didn't Respond Based on How People Responded to Him

(From a devotion I led recently...)

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we are to lead a congregation with a diverse set of ideas and opinions.  This is not a new problem in the history of the Church, of course, and not even new to us.  But it has been on my heart to study this in the Scriptures.

I keep coming back to Jesus.  We need to believe what God says: we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, and God’s ambassadors to a spiritually dead world.  We engender community by dying to self, loving others in the grace of God, and following Jesus.  “In this world we are like Jesus.” (1 John 4:17)

How did Jesus handle diverse reactions to his ministry?  Let’s look at three situations where he performed miracles: healing the paralyzed man (Luke 5), restoring a man’s withered right hand (Luke 6), and converting water into wine and healing the sick (John 2).

16 God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:16-18

17 One day Jesus was teaching, and Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there. They had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was with Jesus to heal the sick. 18 Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. 19 When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.

 20 When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

 21 The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

 22 Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, “Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? 23 Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? 24 But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” 25 Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. 26 Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.”

Luke 5: 17-26

1 One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grain fields, and his disciples began to pick some heads of grain, rub them in their hands and eat the kernels. 2 Some of the Pharisees asked, “Why are you doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?”

 3 Jesus answered them, “Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4 He entered the house of God, and taking the consecrated bread, he ate what is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions.” 5 Then Jesus said to them, “The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.”

 6 On another Sabbath he went into the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was shriveled. 7 The Pharisees and the teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal on the Sabbath. 8 But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Get up and stand in front of everyone.” So he got up and stood there.

 9 Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?”

 10 He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He did so, and his hand was completely restored. 11 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.

Luke 6:1-11

23 Now while he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Festival, many people saw the signs he was performing and believed in his name. 24 But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people. 25 He did not need any testimony about mankind, for he knew what was in each person.

John 2:23-25

In each case we’re told that Jesus knew what they were thinking, what was in their hearts.  Sometimes there was great praise to God (Luke 5) and “people believed in his name” (John 2), and sometimes the miracle engendered hatred (“[they] were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.” Luke 6:11). 

Jesus didn’t respond to their response.  Knowing what was in their hearts, their thoughts, “Jesus would not entrust himself to them.” (John 2:24).   He did not need their testimony.  He knows He is Lord of the Sabbath (Luke 6:5).  He knows his relationship with the Father. Remember, Jesus did not have the kind of sinful pride we so often do!  He operates out of love (which asks for nothing in return) rather than fear.  Fear and pride go together well.

Jesus’ view of His calling and ministry (and God’s view of our ministry) is independent of how people respond. 

If we’re to be Jesus-like leaders, honoring God, we must operate out of love.  We must build people up, help them mature, engage in difficult conversations, humbly obey Christ, be open and teachable, listen well, serve well, do the right thing irrespective of whether people are praising God or plotting “what to do to” us.   

It may help to take the long view of events.  A trillion years from now (still short of eternity), looking back, what was the right thing to do?

Thoughts on Feeding 10 Billion People

My friend Kevin Nelstead posted some good questions about feeding our growing world population.  I added a long comment, reproduced here because I hope people see an example of how to work from biblical principles to address complex issues.

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Kevin, before answering your questions, I think it’s appropriate to back up and create some context – biblical principles and pertinent observations.

From a biblical worldview, I propose these principles:

· Persons, being made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26) and having an eternal soul, are significant and of infinite worth.

· God gave mankind the responsibility of being stewards of His creation (Genesis 1:28). Being a steward means making decisions and working through trade-offs. Stewardship does not mean ownership; only God “owns” creation (Psalm 50).

· Sin affects both people and the planet (see Romans 8:22); neither is perfect.

· God is sovereign over His creation, but mankind cannot entirely tame it or control it. We do not live in perfect harmony with creation (Genesis 3:17-19).

· The Creation we see today is not eternal, it will be remade in God’s fullness of time (Revelation 21:1-5). People’s souls are eternal, and therefore take priority over creation when there are conflicts.

· We do not know when this age ends (Ecclesiastes 8:7; Mark 13:32); we cannot assume it is either a short time or a long time when making stewardship decisions.

Pertinent observations, though not strictly biblical:
· Natural systems have resilience, but also breaking points. We have a very poor record of understanding the limits of systems or predicting how they behave. We tend to miserably under-estimate or over-estimate effects of changes and trends. All simulation models are wrong. Some are useful.

· People have imaginative and creative powers to solve complicated and complex problems. Malthusian projections have been wrong partly because they did not take into account human versatility/ingenuity, tremendous improvements in agricultural productivity and the logistics of moving food and purifying water.

· Human beings are terrible at estimating risk and responding realistically to it.

· War, ethnic politics, and foolish pride have caused more hunger than actual lack of food on the planet. The starvation deaths because of distribution challenges of available food and lack of clean water are avoidable.

· Charity support models have not been effective when continued for long periods of time, because they invite corruption and eliminate the incentives for individuals and groups to create sustainable infrastructure. There are many lessons from aid given to Africa over the last 50 years.

· Central planning models fail, and fail worse as systems grow more complex. There are many variables we cannot control and barely influence. We often confuse leading and lagging indicators. We have at best incomplete historical data, of varying usefulness. Production models tied to individual economic and political liberty have sustainably produced the most food over many years.

Thoughts with respect to food production:
· The Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) is calling for a 70% increase in food production by the year 2050 to feed an estimated 9 billion people. The Eastern Hemisphere is both where most of the population growth will occur and where productivity challenges are greatest.

· I believe we can produce food to 50% more people than live today – it will take concerted efforts on my fronts, but I believe it can be done. We need progress in plant breeding, animal management, and agronomic practices. The amount of arable land is roughly constant now – so improving yield productivity is our best hope. More people moving to urban centers means longer distances to move food.

· The best approach to feeding the world is a rich mix of all kinds of farming. There are places in the world where large-scale monoculture is feasible, and many more places where it is not. I think commercial interests and individual liberty will continue to drive a rich mix. Central planning efforts will distort markets and perpetuate inefficient approaches.

Success will require contributions from For-profit and Non-profit entities, both small and large. There is room for all – and I believe all have specific valuable roles and unique contributions in feeding the world.

· Water is crucial. Read the excellent book, “The Big Thirst.” The problems of sufficient clean water are manageable.

· Land management is crucial. Farming on marginal land creates problems which need to be solved later.

· It would be possible for the US to feed itself from smaller, organic farms. But… perhaps 50% of the population would need to be involved, rather than the 2% on farms today. And there would no grains, fruits, and meats to export.

· Plant breeders are making strides with both transgenic and non-transgenic crops, and harvestable yield continues to climb. I find it difficult to imagine doubling or tripling yields without some GMO.

· Government policies can promote progress or hamper it. I personally believe the intellectual basis driving many government policies is unbiblical, favoring the environment over people, and by default assuming humans ARE the problem.

· My hypothesis is that God has distributed food production potential across the continents so that we would have to work together and build relationships. Regions which have the capacity to produce surpluses should produce surplus to feed others. It makes sense economically, too.

Answering your other questions:

We are fulfilling the mandate “be fruitful and multiply” – but I don’t have the revelatory insight to say “We’ve fulfilled it. Stop.” History teaches us to be confident that some of the solutions to our challenges will be created by people yet to be born!

Christians have the most helpful worldview for working through the stewardship issues and simultaneously valuing human life and individual liberty. Therefore I pray regularly for more believers to follow Jesus into agriculture and food production and government agencies which oversee them.

*Note: I’m employed by a leading multinational agriculture corporation. My comments do not in any way represent the company’s position.

We Were Made to Be Courageous!

Terrific message for men here, much needed!

Happy Father's Day!

Men, I hope you have a terrific day! Celebrate, and also recommit to being the father our Heavenly Father desires for you to be.  The world needs great fathers.

Wordle for this blog

You can use Wordle to make a "word image" from any text or web page with an RSS feed.  Here's this blog:

 

I'm encouraged to see Jesus so prominently displayed!

Waiting

I have several friends who are waiting.  A lot.  One friend tells me "I passed Remedial Waiting 101 and 201 and I'm almost done with Remedial Waiting 301."

I find it very interesting that God commands Elijah twice to go to a location and stay there, without explaining what Elijah is supposed to do while he's there (other than wait):

 ² Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: ³ “Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. ⁴You will drink from the brook, and I have directed the ravens to supply you with food there.”

 ⁵ So he did what the LORD had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. ⁶ The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook. ⁷ Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. ⁸ Then the word of the LORD came to him: ⁹“Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food.”

And Elijah did such non-monumental ministry in these locations that no one knew where God's prophet was for over 3 years. Zero public ministry. (See 1 Kings 18:10) I believe every man will, at least at some times, be called/commanded to wait.

There is something deep in a man which struggles with waiting. I suspect God knows this, and knows that waiting is the best thing for us.

What do we do while waiting? Michael Hyatt has some excellent suggestions, well worth your time to review. He emphasizes recognizing that God is in control, renewing your faith in God's steady provision (this is what I believe that Elijah needed to develop), and redeeming (rather than wasting) the time to prepare for the future.

My friend in Remedial Waiting 301 tells me this song has really helped him remember to serve God and continue to worship while he waits:

What Challenges Are You Facing as a Dad/Husband?

Looking for your feedback, men -- what challenges do you face now? What are you struggling with? I'd like to know, and then I will write more blog posts to address those. Comment below, or email me at info(at)teachtochangelives.com. Thanks!

Happy Flag Day!

Seth Godin on Leadership

Helpful, challenging thoughts on leadership -- helping people grow in a quantum way, not just a little.

Exclusive interview with Seth Godin from GiANT Impact on Vimeo.

Does Difficulty Mean We're "Outside" God's Will?

16 As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. 17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

1 Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.

Matthew 3:16-4:1

After reading Carl Medearis’ new book (Speaking of Jesus), I’ve committed myself to investing in the four Gospel books this summer.  I need to be re-immersed in the stories of Jesus, and the stories Jesus tells.

There’s an important insight here that helps us understand God’s design for ministry. 

Jesus is baptized by his cousin John, then receives a special baptism of the Holy Spirit at the start of his three-year public ministry which will result in salvation for us.  (We don’t have time to go into it here, but we must think carefully about this baptism – the Holy Spirit was always with Jesus.  Here is a special recognition service of Jesus’ submission to the Father’s will, not some evidence of a 2nd baptism as some would say.) 

The Father says “I love Jesus and with him I am well pleased.”  He’s pleased with His son!  And what does He do?

The Father who is pleased with His Son sends Jesus into the wilderness to be tempted!  Right here at the start of the public ministry is a huge challenge, which could threaten the whole effort. 

We could talk more about fasting – which is how Jesus successfully prepares for the temptations that come at the end of 40 days – but today I just want you to see that the loving Father sends Jesus into a terrible struggle at the start of ministry.

Many great ministry efforts in history have started the same way. In retrospect we see how God was pleased with His servants, and then launched them with temptations and challenges.  The fact that we face ministry struggles may have nothing to do with God’s displeasure with us!  Early adversity does not mean that we’ve failed to follow God’s direction or made a mistake (the Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness).  Difficulty and adversity does not necessarily mean we’re outside God’s will – which should encourage us!

One of our most important roles as leaders is to encourage and teach others about this truth.  They can persevere in the strength of Christ!

Feeding the World

Sobering challenge:

"This month, the global population reached 7 billion.  Each year, the world population grows by about 78 million people -- equivalent to the population of Germany.  By 2050, world population will be 9 billion, growing to 10 billion by turn of the century.  Feeding and providing nutrition for this growing population -- and doing it in a sustainable manner -- may be the defining challenge of this century." (Jim Borel, DuPont VP)

Devotions for Your Children

I've yet to meet a father who says, "Family devotions -- piece of cake, do 'em every day consistently and my kids love it."  

For older children (say, above 8 or 9), I recommend you share what God is teaching you in your own daily Bible time.  You can scale it down, provide more context, tailor it to make it relevant to their current challenges.  This doesn't have to be exhausting or take a lot of prep time.  

For young children, I think you have to be more purposeful on finding content that is helpful and age-appropriate.  Picture Bibles are good for this purpose.  

If you want to be more sophisticated, I admire what Tim Challies is doing to lead his children. 

What's worked for you?  Comment below. 

Loving Wayward Children

Here are 12 ways to love your wayward children, by Abraham Piper.  Excellent counsel here!  I really appreciate the loving perspective, without compromising truth.

Gentleness

It's certainly appropriate on this blog to talk about gentleness, which is strength under control!  I encourage you to reflect on these verses:

• 
  
• Matt 11:29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
• Matt 21:5 “Say to the Daughter of Zion, ‘See, your king comes to you, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.’ ”
• Gal 5:23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
• Gal 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.
• Eph 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
• Phil 4:5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
• Col 3:12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
• 1 Pet 3:15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect
• 1 Thess 2:7 but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.
• 1 Tim 3:3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.
• 1 Tim 6:11 But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.
• 2 Tim 2:25 Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,
• Heb 5:2 He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness.
• HT: quarentia

Light of the World

Where Did All This Hostility in the Middle East Come From?

If you want to explore the reasons for the conflicts in the Middle East, start with this prophecy of the son of Hagar:

The angel of the LORD also said to her:
“You are now with child
and you will have a son.
You shall name him Ishmael,
for the LORD has heard of your misery.
He will be a wild donkey of a man;
his hand will be against everyone
and everyone’s hand against him,
and he will live in hostility
toward all his brothers.”

(Genesis 16:11-12)
 

An Idea for Secondary Education

(Disclaimer: I'm not a professional educator.  I have no certifications in teaching children.  I do not create curriculum for children or youth.)

A modest proposal:

Focus elementary school years on the competencies of reading, writing, and math.I'm thinking about up through age12.

Then take the years from 12-18 and focus on these kinds of skills and experiences:

• Reading critically from diverse sources of information.
• Examine history in order to learn themes and patterns and lessons.  Especially study biographies.
• Solving problems worth solving. Focus on it, get creative, stay after it. Use the scientific method and common engineering
• Leading peers without authority, and the skills of influencing through communication and example.
• Work on projects -- planning, executing, managing different aspects. 
• Basics of finances and economics. Personal/family money management, and business use of money.
• Hard work.
• Continual learning, by self-directed and via mentors.

Remember, the word "educate" comes from Latin and literally means "to draw out."  This experience-driven approach requires whole communities of genuine adults who don't abdicate responsibilities to future generations. 

I suspect a secondary education curriculum like this would create a much larger population of good thinking, effective citizens than our current systems do. 

Your thoughts?

The Help Desk Has Been Around a Long Time

"There is nothing new under the sun" -- Ecclesiastes

Two Favorite Books for Boys

I read many wonderful books as a boy, but there are two adventure stories that I still enjoy reading as an adult:

My Side of the Mountain (by Jean George) -- the story of a boy set off to live in a tree by himself in the Catskills, and his adventures there. 

Banner in the Sky (by James Ramsey Ullman) -- the story of a boy who dreamed of climbing The Citadel, the last great unclimbed mountain in the Alps. 

Recommended for your boys!  (Note: Both have been made into movies, but the books are better.)

What other books for boys do you recommend? 

Solving Problems, or Juggling Symptoms?

I recently received a good rebuke from a professional colleague: "Are you solving problems, Glenn, or do prefer to juggle symptoms?" 

Two-by-four, meet Mr. Forehead. 

This was a helpful insight, and not only for that moment.  Sometimes I really do prefer to juggle symptoms.  I'm good at juggling.  I still have a convenient pile of excuses for why things aren't done. (Excuses are lies we tell ourselves.) It's less work than solving problems. 

Is This Your King?

Free Audio Book: The Next Story

Flash update: Tim Challies' excellent book on how we should think about this massive rush of technological change, "The Next Story" is available as this month's free audiobook download.  Recommended.

Water, Water!

I recently learned a few amazing facts about the colossal scale of the water cycle on planet Earth:

One cubic kilometer of water is 264 billion gallons -- a lifetime supply for 70,000 people. 

The ocean's evaporate a cubic kilometer of fresh water every 72 seconds, 1,200 cubic kilometers of fresh water a day -- which is 45,000 gallons of fresh water a day for every person on earth (two full swimming pools' worth).

Each day's evaporation joins an incredible river of 12,900 cubic kilometers of water already floating in the atmosphere. That's more water whirling through the atmosphere than sits in four of the five Great Lakes combined (Michigan, Huron, Erie and Ontario). 

And yet the Earth is a relatively dry place.  If the Earth were the size of a Honda Odyssesy minivan, all the water on the planet would fit in a single half-liter bottle. 

Source

To God be the glory!

It's Not Enough to Ask the Lord What to Do

47 While he was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, 48 but Jesus asked him, "Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?"
 49 When Jesus' followers saw what was going to happen, they said, "Lord, should we strike with our swords?" 50 And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.


 51 But Jesus answered, "No more of this!" And he touched the man's ear and healed him.


 52 Then Jesus said to the chief priests, the officers of the temple guard, and the elders, who had come for him, "Am I leading a rebellion, that you have come with swords and clubs? 53 Every day I was with you in the temple courts, and you did not lay a hand on me. But this is your hour-when darkness reigns." 
Luke 22:47-53

This event is told in all four gospel accounts; Peter is named as the sword-swinger in John, but not the others.  It would have been an emotionally-charged, memorable event!  Situation difficult: Outnumbered, inferior weapons ("two swords" which were probably more like kitchen knives), at night, hampered terrain.

Detail in the Luke account: the disciples ask what to do! (v49)  Then Peter charges ahead, going after (probably) the least threatening man in sight - a servant.  Of course, Peter wasn't aiming at the man's ear!

Jesus' response is not only to Peter, but to the group.  This suggests the other disciples were going to attack as well.  Certainly the temple guards would be prepared for violence (clubs and swords v.52) It's a natural response to defend your rabbi and yourselves.

Key application for leaders:  How often do we ask the Lord for instruction and guidance - and then move ahead with the assumption that our idea is correct?  Let's be leaders who listen carefully to God.

Mission for the Day

Men, here is your mission for the day: Love your wife. 

Step it up today.  Don't coast.  Put out a "surge" effort today, and don't put this off.  Words and actions.

For Dads with Daughters of "Dating" Age

Men, for your edification:

Rules for Dating a Marine's Daughter
Application to Date My Daughter

Now these are great humorous pieces, and we can identify with them!  One thing I did with my daughter years ago was show here these.  "Dad, you wouldn't do this to any guy who wants to take me out, would you?"  I explained that no, I wouldn't, but I wanted her to understand how dads feel about their daughters.

The Story of the King James Bible

I heartily recommend to you to this DVD which tells the story of the King James Bible.  Wonderfully done, with outstanding presentation by John Rhys-Davies (who doesn't love this man's voice?).  This would be fun for a small group to watch and discuss.  You'll see the Providence of God at work.

Lead Me

Observations from Acts on Ministry Leadership

"News of this reached the church in Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas to Antioch. When he arrived and saw what the grace of God had done, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts. He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord.Then Barnabas went to Tarsus to look for Saul,  and when he found him, he brought him to Antioch. So for a whole year Barnabas and Saul met with the church and taught great numbers of people." (Acts 11:22-26)

Barnabas was an effective teacher and leader, but still recruited Saul/Paul to come to Antioch.   It's clear that they both taught and led at Antioch.  And God (who does not make mistakes) sent both men to the Gentile world (Acts 13:1-3). 

Paul and Barnabas go through many struggles and joys together, co-ministering, both operating (boldly!) as teachers and preachers.   This is plainly seen in these verses:
Acts 13:5, 7 42-43, 46, 51
Acts 14:3, 21, 27
Acts 15:2, 35

Then their disagreement comes (Acts 15:36-41), and they separate.  Barnabas takes John and goes back to his home in Cyprus.  Paul takes Silas and continues on in Asia Minor. 

All through the remainder of Acts, chapters 16-28, Paul is clearly the preacher, teacher, and leader.  He's the public face of the ministry team.  (Paul has many different helpers in these years.)   Never again is there an indication of co-leadership with another, the way he and Barnabas had operated.

Three thoughts for your consideration:
1. Ministry is a team effort.  God intentionally brings people together for His work, using our complementary strengths.  Paul could not have accomplished all that he did without help from others and their support. 
2. Perhaps the separation event in chapter 15, difficult as it was, was a transition between different phases of ministry, with different leadership needs.
3. Even if I'm correct about different phases of ministry, let us be clear that God is sovereign over all, and works through imperfect leaders.  There was effective ministry when Barnabas and Paul co-led, and effective ministry after they separated.

Tim Hawkins on Aging Rockers

Opportunity Cost

"Opportunity cost" refers to the fact that by choosing to do one thing, you spend time that could have been used to do something else.  That alternative way to spend time is the "opportunity cost" of  your choice.

I don't know about you, but (especially when I'm physically tired and feeling more selfish) I'm more likely to make poor choices about what I eat, what I read, what I watch, what I do, etc.  It's been helpful for me to ask myself "What's the opportunity cost?" when I'm inclined to do something.

Sure, passively watching TV would "feel" great right now.  What's the opportunity cost?  I'm sure you can think of other example situations.

Note: I'm not opposed to leisure and rest.  They are good and necessary.  But men, we need to know ourselves and push ourselves to our best. 

Want to Be Wiser? Read This Book

If you want to be wiser working with people and situations, there is one book that will help you more than any other: Proverbs. 

Proverbs frames the world in the fundamental differences between wise people and fools.  It's your success manual for practical wisdom in dealing with people. 

Now you read the 31 chapters in an hour, and then lay it aside.  But that's not my recommendation.  Instead, read a chapter a day.  There are 31 chapters, so simply read the chapter that corresponds to the day of the month.  Takes 5-10 minutes.  Trust me, a verse or two will "pop out" for you to reflect on more. 

You'll find that new insights come as you read this way, over a period of years, and encounter new people and situations.  

Learning Through Mentoring

Challenge for you: list out those people that you are mentoring, even if only informally or occasionally. Who are you influencing more than others?
Most of the time, when you've plateaued in an area, the breakthroughs will begin to come again when you start teaching or mentoring others. There's something about the way we're wired that we don't learn everything we could until we teach others. This avenue to self-growth requires selflessness.
Next two challenges:

1. Think carefully about something you can do to help each person on your list. What can you teach them, what stories can you share, what encouragement or coaching or feedback can you provide?

2. Add one or two more names to your list of people this week.

Hi-Tech Glass -- But What Will Be Important?

The technological future is coming very fast. I think there are hard trends (inevitable), but also soft trends where we have more room for decisions. While this intriguing video is focused on what could be enabled by hi-tech glass, I encourage you to think about what will be important that might be hurt or limited by technology (if not used well). What aspects of your marriage, your parenting, your deepest friendships, governing ourselves, entertainment, ability to create a multi-generational legacy, our worship -- all that which is the best of us -- what decisions will we need to explore?

Leadership Blogs

I follow a number of blogs which give me great ideas and encouragement on leadership, including:

Seth Godin

Michael Hyatt

Orrin Woodward

Mark Sanborn

Perry Noble

Ron Edmonson

Mark Batterson

T.J. Addington


Which others do you recommended? Comment below.

An Effective Family Devotion Strategy

No guilt trip here, guys. 

Here's a simple approach to family devotions that works.  Review with them what God is teaching you from your daily time in the Word and prayer.  (You'll find it's easier to do that yourself when you're teaching your family from it!)

Doesn't have to be complicated or very long.  Read a few verses, share an insight you had or a point you feel is worth emphasizing, and facilitate some discussion.  Pray. You can even do this during mealtime. 

Try it out!

Personal MBA Reading List

Some of you might be considering getting an MBA degree.  Before you do that, consider an alternative approach: the personal MBA reading list. It still takes a lot of discipline, but you will get most of the benefits with much less cost and time away from your family.

Biographies Worth Your Time

It's important to learn from history and biographies.  Here are a few biographies of great men which have helped me enormously, in no particular order:

Athanasius
John Adams
Harry Truman
Theodore Roosevelt
Martin Luther
Glady Alward
John Paton
Robert E. Lee
Winston Churchill

Do you have some recommendations?

Note: there are some great biographical documentary films and movies worth watching, but nothing quite matches a biographical book.

Class of 2014

Check out this list of characteristics for the college freshman class of 2014.  Wow, I feel really old.

Dealing with Offenses

Excellent video from Michael Hyatt on dealing with offenses.  This important for leaders and role models like you, men!

He covers four truths:

Offenses are inevitable.
Satan intends offenses for our destruction.
God intends offenses for our good.
Being offended is a choice.

Marching Orders for Men (That's You)

Marching orders for men  (from 1 Cor 16:13-14):

Be on your guard
stand firm in the faith
be courageous
be strong.
Do everything in love.

How's that Bible Reading Plan Going?

Time for a check-in -- how are you doing with your Bible reading plan?  If you dropped the habit, today is the day to restart.  Don't worry about yesterday.  Just restart today.  It's been said of Marines that they get knocked down six times and get up seven.  Be like that!

This Echo Chamber May Be Dangerous

We have MANY channels and sources for news and commentary now -- let's talk about the good and potentially bad aspects of this.

As a kid you could get your news on TV from three networks (where I grew up, only two, because the antenna wasn't that good).  There were only a couple of options for newspapers in any region.  Radio stations didn't carry a lot of news.  Someone else pretty much dictated what you saw and heard.

With blogs, websites, multiple news channels and their derivatives available on cable and radio, almost every newspaper is online, even automated news aggregators from multiple sources -- there are millions of sources and avenues to get news and commentary, from every conceivable perspective and worldview. 

The plus side of this is that you are limited by what a few people decide is newsworthy, or how they choose to present it.  You can gain access to multiple perspectives on the same events, and get a more complete picture of what's going on...if you choose to.

The downside is that if you aren't diligent, you can spend hours daily in a news stream and never hear or read something that contradicts your preferred perspective. It's been said of several presidents "How did he get elected?  No one I know voted for him!" 

I believe it's important for you, men, because you are leaders in your families, to be well-informed and work with multiple perspectives.  That takes some energy, some discipline.  This situation is only going to get more complicated in the future, so it is important to train your children about these things. 

Ground everything in reliable Scripture, and be discerning, but don't limit your intake to one preferred perspective. 

"There's a Signal In This Home Somewhere"

A little humor -- with a point -- for Monday morning.

We Don't Get to Rebuke the Lord

(This is from a short devotion I led recently. -- Glenn)

21 From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.22 Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”

23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.

24 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For whoever wants to save their life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. 26 What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? 27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.


28 “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

Matthew 16:21-28

Observations to apply in our lives:

• We don’t get to rebuke the Lord. We don’t get to say “No, Lord.”

• Geographic orientation – don’t get between me and my destination (Jerusalem)

• Personal orientation – we are to follow Jesus

• Top of mind concerns should be the concerns of God

• May we be small or non-existent stumbling blocks to Jesus!

Future of Business Models

I've spent considerable time in the past two years studying and thinking about the future of business models, managing, product value, gathering communities, and leadership.

I watch a lot of men looking backwards with nostalgia for how it use to be.  Those days are gone, and they aren't coming back again.

It's important to think clearly and courageously about moving forward, and especially about helping our children move forward into the future economic realities.  So I encourage you to watch this short video and start considering these ideas.

Exclusive interview with Seth Godin from GiANT Impact on Vimeo.

Teach Your Girls to Look for Men

It doesn't require more than cursory review of pop culture to conclude that we've moved to celebrating prolonged adolescence.  Consider how many popular music and TV and sports figures are 25-35 years old but acting like irresponsible teenagers. 

I don't have a simple remedy, but here's a starting point, men: teach your your ladies what real men act like, what they say, how they handle themselves, how they take on responsibility -- and then encourage them to skip the goofy, immature, irresponsible "boys" of any chronological age. 

When boys see that young ladies are interested in men, they're much more likely to become men. 

Christians Actually Have Lower Divorce Rates

This article looks carefully at some data and concludes that -- contrary to what is often said -- American Christians who are serious about their faith actually have a lower divorce rate than secular marriages.

While encouraging, the rate remains too high!

I like what our senior pastor says: "There are only two kinds of marriages: those being worked on, and those that aren't."

Interesting Sign of the Times

Things My Grandfathers Said

My two grandfathers were very different men, and I loved them both dearly. As a boy I treasured time with them, looked up to them, paid attention to what they said – which was often surprising. Here are a few things I heard them say that made a deep impression on me. I won’t distinguish which grandfather said what, because that’s not important to a general audience. But I write in hopes my grandfathers will inspire you, and also to encourage men to be good teaching grandfathers for future generations.

One time I was watching my grandfather pruning rose bushes. I was startled at how much he cut them back! “If you ask the rose bushes, they don’t like to be pruned,” he replied.

“Don’t argue with idiots. They like it too much.” I probably should have followed this advice more frequently in my life.

I could tie my shoelaces as a youngster, but my shoes were often loose enough to come off my feet. My strategy was to keep tying more knots in the laces until I didn’t have any shoelace left to work with. My grandfather said to me, “Glenn, if the first knot isn’t tight, it doesn’t matter how many more knots you tie on top.” I’ve found a lot of ways to apply that insight over the years!

A simple framework for determining what’s wrong: “Don’t do things that make the devil happy.”

Whenever I expressed that I was a little tired of working on a chore, I heard my grandfather’s classic response was classic: “The work isn’t done yet.” Learning about the rhythm of work is more caught than taught.

When I rationalized that he cut wood better because he had a sharper axe: "It's the workman, not the tool."  Even at age 15 I knew he was right. 

“Every driver thinks they’re above average.” One of my earliest insights into the fact that self-perception is unreliable.

“You have a belly button, Glenn, so you’re entitled to your opinion. That’s about all you’re entitled to.” Needless to say, my grandfather was not keen on entitlement programs and people who thought they deserved this or that.

Commentary on a local figure who was caught in adultery: “He threw a lot away for a few minutes of fun with a zip at the end. A man does well to keep his pants on.”

One time I asked my grandfather why he shaved in the morning and the evening before bed. He just looked at me, smiled, and continued shaving. (It was several years before I figured this one out!)

Sometimes these men showed ignorance or stereotyping. Here’s an example: “Those foreigners have a different word for everything. If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for me!” I suspect my grandfather was a little surprised in heaven to find that blue-eyed English-speaking Caucasians were the minority population in heaven. He was convinced that Jesus spoke King James English, and that the apostles switched to the red ink quill when recording his words.

What did you learn from your grandfathers?

Colin Powell's 13 Rules of Leadership

Worth pondering, and then discussing with your older children. Make every effort to help them become leaders! (That includes modeling it.)

COLIN POWELL’S 13 RULES OF LEADERSHIP

1. It ain’t as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning.
2. Get mad, then get over it.
3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that, when your position falls, your ego goes with it.
4. It can be done!
5. Be careful what you choose, you may get it.
6. Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.
7. You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone else make yours.
8. Check small things.
9. Share credit.
10. Remain calm. Be kind.
11. Have a vision. Be demanding.
12. Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.
13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

Insights on Idolatry

"Shining Like the Sun"

This is pretty cool! A few thoughts, as a comparison with we as believers:

The power is from the Son, not from us.
The power is focused as there are more of us working in concert and unity.
The power is focused at a close-by focal point. We need to be close to the not-yet believers to have intense effect.

Who Can Speak Into Your Chest?

Guys, here's an important question: how many men have permission to speak into your chest, and really get to you?

[Go ahead, think about it. I'll wait a moment.]

There's no "right" number, but you need these men. You need them desperately! Cultivate these kinds of relationships. Learn from their experiences. Consider their counsel carefully. You aren't the first person to have faced difficulties.

Take note: these guys don't all have to be alive. There are wonderful books and journals from men of old that can inform and guide and challenge you.

Got a sense of something that needs more attention here? What will you do about that?

Lessons from Ben Franklin

I highly recommend this Orrin Woodward article, "Ben Franklin's Passive Income Stream," for three reasons:

1. He describes a little-told aspect of Ben Franklin's success -- franchising printing operations to provide him income and freedom to work on other things.
2. Franklin wasn't lazy, but very disciplined as a young man. This is worth talking about with our children.
3. It inspires thoughts about what you could do with your time if you had passive income? Franklin worked on an amazing array of interests and service. You can do this, too!

By the way, if you're interested in Leadership Development, you can do a lot worse than paying attention to Orrin Woodward.